just found this article and it interesting that i want to share with you guys
Jealousy is one of the hardest emotions to deal with.
It can come from nowhere and take over your thoughts and it is often the root cause of many problems. Through my experiences, I have come to learn that this instinctive emotion is merely trying to protect our ego, by burying our inadequacies and insecurities. Our mind is at work protecting us in the comforts of our little cocoon shell. But to what benefit does it serve? I’m just going to say this to you straight: if you cannot control your jealousy, you will have a lot of problems with relationships – in professional and your personal life.
In a workplace, jealousy can be the fear of disrespect from our peers (“If he is better than me, then I will be replaced.”); thus unloved. Or fear of loss in career growth. We waste time justifying other’s success with some trivial reason so that we can easily dismiss them (“What a douche bag ! He is not very experienced with the .Net coding like me ”) and consequently feel good about ourself.
In personal life, I remember being jealous in my love relationship. Any time I’d see my girlfriend even talking to another guy, I would get a knot in my stomach and would get really down on myself. The thing is, jealousy stems from low self-confidence; I wasn’t a very confident person back then and I suffered from immense amounts of jealousy because of that deficit.
The more confidence I’ve gained, the more I’ve realized that most things simply aren’t worth worrying about. What the heck ! Why should I care if the girl I’m dating talks to other guys? Why should things like this bother me? If anything should happen, I’d deal with it then. Them’s the breaks, as they say. And that’s life, and there are plenty of fish in the sea, and as usual adaptive response returns the mind to a state of normalcy after sometime.
The prime thing to take away is that if you are the jealous type, don’t just cop out and live with it . Jealousy does nothing but hurt you and those around you and the easiest way to be less jealous is to deal with your own self-esteem issues. Being able to control your jealousy is key to being able to roll with the punches and take life as it comes and that is key to being happy. I know it’s difficult to completely get rid of it, so just aim for control at first. The following are few methods to help reduce and eliminate this negative thought pattern:
Possibly the first step to being able to control your jealousy is recognising that it is not healthy. By doing this you will be taking a very positive move forward to overcoming your problem.
Stop comparing because there is no end to comparison, because there is no end to our expectations.
When we are feeling negative, it is sometimes difficult to think rationally. Change your current emotional state by shifting your attention to something completely different. Once you’ve cool down, come back to the situation with a clear and open mind.
Be Realistic and ask yourself,
Is the person really a threat to you? To your relationship? To your career?
Is there a lesson I can learn here? What is the inspiration I can gain from this situation?
don't be jealous for no reason or you might be regret it one day
believe me - Mayra